Natural Therapy (Or Something Like That)

When I take a stroll through nature

Or simply take time to bask in it

I feel as though the breath I've been holding

Of work, family drama, financial worries

Anxiety, depression, the state of the world

Can finally be released

Nature demands nothing more

Than your respect for it's existence

It has no unrealistic expectations

It doesn't tell you who to vote for

Or what bias and beliefs to have

No unrealistic beauty standards to uphold

It doesn't tell you you're fat, ugly, or worthless

It reminds you to love

It reminds you to care

It reminds you that your existence

Can also bring beauty to the world

It Rained at the Campout

It rained at the campout

It had been overcast all day

"Maybe that's why the others left," said A.

"Could be," said K.

"But we're not quitters," said me.

We took shelter under our canopy

It thundered and M didn't like it.

We told her it was Thor

And that seemed to help.

The rain poured down

Through pine needle boughs.

Plip, plip, plip on our canopy

The smell of rain-soaked earth.

Tat, tat, tat, tat, tat

Frozen pebbles against the fabric

Take their entrance and bows

In a matter of seconds

Plip, plip, plip, stop

More thunder rumbles

"I'm ready for a nap," says K.

"Me too," says A.

"Communal naptime!" says Me.

So we retire to the tent.

It rained at the campout,

But we're not quitters.

Energy of Nature

 If I had a place

Where I could go

To sit in the energy of nature

Oh, what joy that would bring

Nature's Lights (Hour 24)

Sun is the brightest

Great, looming in the sky
Heating the world
Igniting the morning
Of each new day

Moon comes next
Sometimes here, sometimes not
It's white glow a comfort
To weary travelers
Braving the night

Stars are third
Their small twinkling
Sometimes dimmed
By the lights
Of man

Next will be lightning
Great flashes in the sky
Followed by fire
Dancing upon the logs
Warming my hands, body, heart

Whelm (Hour 23)

To engulf disastrously;

To turn upside down;
A middle ground
Between "overwhelmed"
And "underwhelmed"

The Greek god Poseidon
Attempted to whelm
The ship of Odysseus
After the Ithacan king
Wounded his one-eyed offspring

But the ship survived
Though it's Captain was left
Overwhelmed by the loss
Of all but forty-three
Of his men

The underwhelming loyalty
Of Eurylochus, second in command
Brought mutiny to the king
And in the end
The deaths of all his remaining men

Astronomy Lab (Hour 22)

It's 8:00 on an autumn night

My classmates and I are gathered
Listening as our professor
Tells of constellations and heavenly lights

There is no moon tonight
Just a sky filled with stars
The professor's green laser
Pointing as he speaks

How lucky I feel to be here
Where a five minute drive
Is far enough
To see the pure night sky

Pigeon's Nest (Hour 21)

I woke one morning to find

On my third floor balcony
A pile of pine needles
Two eggs nestled inside

Days passed and we watched
Waiting for the eggs to hatch
Finally greeted by the sight
Of tiny baby pigeons

The Twentieth Hour (Hour 20)

Something in the back of mind

A forgotten memory lying dormant
My chest filling with a sweet nostalgia
My soul reaching, but not quite catching it

Daughters of Salem (Hour 19)

They tried to silence us

Tell us that our chattering tongues
Were too much, too suspicious
Not to be trusted

They tried to hinder us
Tell us that our healing hands
Could never sustain life
We must be frauds

They tried to break us
Tell us that we're too dangerous
Our existence satanic, not holy
So they burned us

No longer will we be silent
No longer will we hold back
No longer will we make ourselves small
So they can feel big

When they try to smother us
We awake
When they try to crush us
We awake
When they try to tear us down
We awake
When they think they've won
We awake
 

Journey to You (Hour 18)

I was in grade school

When I first dreamed of you
Your face hidden
Your name never spoken
But I knew who you were

As a teenager you
Invaded my dreams again
And I awoke to an aching
Longing for someone
I had yet to meet

In college I would find
Someone I thought was you
Disappointed to learn
I had it wrong
Forced to wait once more

And now you've come
Again to my dreams
And I am left wondering
How much time is left
On this journey to you

An Unexpected Day (Hour 17)

Music blasting 

Through the house
Dancing to the beats
As I tidy up

Summer vibing
Nothing to bring me down
The sun is shining
Through the windows

Floor vibrating
The dishes rattle
Furniture moving
I stop, look around

A sound outside
Known yet unknown
Was that fireworks?
It's only midday

Something rising
On the horizon
Thick, gray, and looming
Straight up, then spreading

Holding my breath
Watching in awe, horror
Invisible wave
Striking, shattering glass

Turning away
Dropping to the floor
Covering my head
My heart racing

Pausing, listening
Slowly getting back up
Body filling with dread
As the cloud lingers

Old Snow (Hour 16)

Frozen white falling from the sky

Nature's heavy blanket
Memories stored in water
Secrets falling to the ground
What has it seen?

Routine (Hour 15)

Wake up before the sun

Get ready for the day
The sun is rising now
Into the car I go
Exit the neighborhood
Twenty minute drive
Hardly any cars on the road
Despite the time of day
Pull into my usual spot
Grab my bag
Cover my face with a mask
Loops over the ears
(Or strings tied behind my head)
Enter the building
Type away on the computer
Listening to stories as I work
Answering questions
Tracking numbers
End of day
Pack it all up
Exit the building
Get into the car
Remove the mask
Drive back home
Walk through the front door
Breathe again

Bowl of Noodles (Hour 14)

Flavors carefully considered
Toppings and add ins chosen
Add water, cook for three minutes
Mixing it all together
Hot aroma rising to my face
The salty, savory taste
Greeting my tongue
As I chew, slurp, and finish
My bowl of noodles

Reflection (Hour 13)

I stood in front of the mirror

My reflection staring back at me
My flaws and imperfections
Seeping into my mind

My hair is too thin
My face too round
My skin too blemished
My smile not perfect enough

I look my reflection in the eye
Trying to combat the cynicism
Trying to see the beauty of me
Trying, but failing

I see the sorrow in my reflection's gaze
Not because she agrees
Because she wishes I could see 
What she sees

A woman who is gifted
Who has potential
A woman who feels empathy
Who has touched so many

A woman who loves deeply
Who is surrounded by love
A woman who doesn't give up
Even when she has nothing left

Warmth spreads through my chest
As her vision reaches out
Touching the dark corners
Of my troubled thoughts

Tomorrow the thoughts will likely return
And the day after as well
But I'll have my reflection
To remind me of the truth

Weekly Well Wishes (Hour 12)

May Monday's morning monotony melt

Tuesdays tedious tasks
While Wednesdays workload wrecks
Thursdays thoughtless threads
Freeing Friday's fleeting fiascos
Saving Saturday's silly shenanigans
Stopping Sunday's strife

That Word That's Kind of Like Elegant (Hour 11)

A towering mountainscape

A river flowing along its way
Sunlight seeping through the branches
A gentle breeze across my skin

A garden of flowers
An open field of green
Moonlight shimmering on the water
A sky full of stars

A moment of kindness
A laugh the fills the room
An expression of love
A smile that reaches your eyes

Spoons (Hour 10)

One for the boss

Two for my coworkers
Three for my friends
Four for my family

A bronze spoon for my hesitations
A silver one for my intrusive thoughts
A golden spoon for my anxiety
A platinum one for dreams unrealized

A spoon for you
And one for you, too
Spoons for everyone all around
And none left for me

Safe With You Looks Like (Hour 9)

Safe with you looks like

Snuggling on the couch
Singing in the car
Dancing around the living room

Safe with you looks like
Late night laughter
Silly faces and odd comments
Geeking out over "childish" things

Safe with you looks like
Open minded and open hearted conversations
No judgments or degrading comments
No backhanded compliments

Safe with you looks like
An explosion of emotions
A volcanic river of anger and fear met
With an assurance you're still right here

Safe with you looks like
All the parts I hide from the world
On display, raw, unfiltered
Surrounded by your loving embrace

Little Girl (Hour 8)

"It's time to let her know she's safe."

She sits across from me
Not even eight years old
Light brown hair framing
Green blue eyes
I take her in
Really look at her
She looks me in the eye
Trying to convey her thoughts
What she needs
Part of me claims I don't know
But another part,
Buried, hidden away
Knows exactly
What she's trying to say
She's confused, she doesn't understand
What's happened or why
And there's a quiet, hesitant hope
That I have the answers
I have put in work
Figured some things out
But I don't know all of the answers
All I can do is look back at her
Let her know that I understand
Hold onto her tightly
And promise I'll always keep her safe

Curious Curio (Hour 7)

The curio in the satchel

To the unassuming stranger
Seems harmless enough
Don't be fooled
This leather tote
Is the only barrier
Between the world
And the danger it contains
Quick, bury it
There, beneath the willow tree
By the light of the moon
Hide it, then
Exhale

Champs-Élysées by Jason Lyle Black (Hour 6)

Violin notes

Strong and majestic
Sliding with each movement
Of the bow
Piano keys matching
Pace and tune
Then slowing
Quieting
Two instruments joining in sound
Matching, harmonizing,
Complimenting
Music builds, a crescendo
Reminding me of a time
When I loved you most

Whispers in the Night (Hour 5)

Come, fly far away

Escape your dreary prison
Into the dark night

Here, 'neath the moonlight
A gentle kind of silence
Blanketing the world

Come, fly far away
Find your peace, resolution
In the dark of night

The Yard (Hour 4)

Chain link fence

Purple hued periwinkle
Growing through metallic lines
Reaching out towards
The front sidewalk

Open the gate
A concrete walkway to the porch
Another veering left
Towards the drive way
Three sections of front yard grass
Two on either side of the driveway walk
One with a pine tree taller than me
Whose branches I used to sit under
Inhaling its sweet perfume
Fallen needles poking
Into my skin

Green shrubbery growing
In front of windows
Scalloped concrete separating
The bushes from the grass
And a comfrey plant by the water spicket
Propogated from Grandma and Grandpa

On the west side of the driveway
Mom's flower garden
A big yellow rosebush
Purple irises, orange marigolds
Two smaller rose bushes
One red, one white
And a flourishing patch
Of bishop's weed

Memories come to mind
Of "playing baseball"
Each front yard corner
A different base
A memory of summer days
Lying on the hot cement
After swimming in the backyard pool
The smell of water, heat, and processed rock
Sitting on the front porch with mom
Watching the rain
Lightning filling the sky
Listening to the booming thunder

Strange World (Hour 3)

The light of the sky
Rising from one end
Casts morning hues
Of purple and blue

As the heated orb
Reaches it's peak
The colors of the world mute
Into various dusty browns

In it's descent
The heavenly sphere
Paints my skin
Shades of green and red

Plain and pale once more
A canvas void of color
As the Daystar completes it's cycle
Disappearing beyond the horizon

 

Gardening (Hour 2)

I used to hate gardening

Early mornings of pulling weeds
The prickly leaves
Making my skin itch

Digging in the dirt
To make room for the plants
Black lines under my fingernails
An irritating sight

As I've grown I've come to love
The feel of the soil in my hands
The sweat beading on my face
As I join in nature's beauty

There is a quiet satisfaction
Working in the garden
A kind of precise wonder
Intentional, beautiful, magical

Cellphone (Hour 1)

Doom scrolling

Through YouTube, Facebook, Instagram
Checking the time
And scrambling out of bed

Text messages
Funny GIFs between friends
Expressing my disappointment
Venting my frustration

Hot shower
Music blasting through the speaker
Singing along to each song
My voice mingling with their sound

Doom scrolling once more
I know it's getting late
Slipping from my fingers
Device meeting face

Of Course

He carries on about chivalry
Of course, she rolls her eyes
She is left vulnerable
Of course, he stands guard

He is surrounded by courtly ladies

Of course, she is jealous

Someone flirts with her unashamedly

Of course, he doesn't notice

Enemies outnumber him

Of course, she intervenes

She is in danger

Of course, he breaks down the door

He leads the charge

Of course, she follows

She is separated from him

Of course, he goes to find her

He declares his love for her

Of course, she marries him

She clings to life by a thread

Of course, desperation seizes him

In a rage, he goes to avenge their friends

Of course, she tries to stop him

Her heart breaks for his lonely fate

Of course, he can't even look at her

He cannot be near her

Of course, she haunts his dreams

She loves him, fiercely, beyond all things

Of course, he can't help but love her back

Separated

My heart is aching tonight,
Reaching for your hand
And finding empty space.
You came into my world,
Quiet at first.
Then like a whirlwind 
You altered the course
Of my future.

There is no trial we cannot overcome,

No foe we cannot face,

When we stand together.

So how do I press forward

When the enemy strikes?

When hell on earth erupts

And you are nowhere in sight?

How do I comfort those you left behind

When I cannot find comfort for myself?

Can a soul be saved

When it is rent in two?

Because without you here

I feel like half of a person.

Something stranded between

Human and abomination,

Wandering through a forest,

The sky barred by a canopy of leaves,

The way ahead dark and uncertain

And still, somewhere in the depths of this despair,

A spark of a flame lingers.

A thread of fate connecting

Two souls separated.

Somehow the strength comes

As I rise each morning, alone.

Somehow the hope of seeing you again

Overpowers weakness and vulnerability.

My heart is aching tonight,

Reaching for your hand,

And in the empty space I find

A love to transcend

The battles ahead,

The challenges we both will surely face,

So I'll cling to the spark,

To the single thread,

Until the day our eyes meet again

And your arms encircle me once more.

I Don't Hate You

I don't hate you

I hate how much I gave

And how little you gave back

I don't hate you

I hate the lack

Of true accountability

I don't hate you

I hate how quickly

You replaced me

I don't hate you

I hate that you don't seem to care

If this bridge burns or not

I don't hate you

I hate how easily

You can abandon me

I don't hate you

And it kills me

How that feels worse

Than if I did