Sorry Doesn't Make It Better (Hour 6)

 A five year old once told me

“Sorry” doesn’t make it better

And I thought to myself

How true that statement is

“Sorry” doesn’t magically heal

Bumps, bruises, and scratches

Or rebuild block towers

Or mend a broken toy

“Sorry” doesn’t soothe

Hurt feelings from unkind words

Or broken promises

Or being left behind

“Sorry” doesn’t erase

The decades of hiding

Or the silence I kept

Or the memory carried through

“Sorry” doesn’t make it better

Though it can be a first step

But with no real conviction

No efforts to change

No actual admittance of guilt

“Sorry” can feel rather empty

Monster Circle (Hour 5)

“I made this for you!”

White page with

A pink, squiggly circle

“Ooh, what is it?”

“It's a monster circle!

You can put it in your office!”

“I love it!”

Small arms wrap around my waist

Office wall filling up with pictures

Preschooler artwork

Lines, circles, squiggles

Something resembling a face

And a white sheet with a pink

Monster circle

Don't Grow Up (Hour 4)

Don't grow up

For growing up

Is the Thief of Art

Crushing us with the weight

Of responsibilities

Social acceptance

Inhibitions

And trivial things 

Of “much importance”

Safe (Hour 3)

Sometimes I forget

That I can cry here

Whether the tears be

For personal reasons

Or some unexpected twist

In the story we are playing out

Because at this table

Emotions do not equate

To weakness

And judgment is not passed

The Blanket (Hour 2)

Just over two decades old

It’s seen better days

The fabric fading, aged

Evident signs of use

One side a plain, pale pink

The other white and baby blue

With tiny squares, hearts,

And baby buggies

The stitching isn’t straight

But I run my fingers over the threads

And feel the care imbued into it

When it was crafted and put together

Wrapped around me 

Like a warm hug

Reaching across the years

A sister’s labor of love

"Good Intentions" (Hour 1)

They say the road to Hell
Is paved with “good intentions”
I always thought it to mean
My own intentions could
Lead to an eternal downfall
But sometimes it’s not to Hell
That “good intentions” lead

There is a difference you see
Between Hell and hell
One is a place
You learn about in Sunday School
The other a state of existence
Personal, individual
As diverse as the human race

Sometimes hell is of our own making
From choices we have 
Or have not made
Our own minds trapping us
In a seemingly never-ending maze

Sometimes hell is created
By the choices of others
Trapped, consumed
By their own hell that they are living
Unaware or perhaps uncaring
How it affects those around them

I trusted your intentions
As my self confidence had
Been waxing and waning
I trusted that you truly wanted
What was best
Wanted me to succeed

I do not know
The full extent of your story
So I give the benefit of doubt
Hope that your “good intentions”
Were in fact good

But I’ve learned in recent years
That my perception can be skewed
A mirage of what I wish to be true

Even now I cannot bring myself
To believe it was of
A malicious design
That you deliberately tried
To sabotage the situation
For reasons I know nothing of

But the road to Hell
Is paved with “good intentions”
And sometimes “good intentions”
Are what weld the chains
Of our own hell

His Shoulders

Sometimes He carries me like a child

Laughing from atop His shoulders

Filled with joy

Sometimes He carries me like a lamb

Once lost now found 

Emanating love

Sometimes He carries me like a soldier 

Unable to move forward myself

He carries me through the battlefield

Sometimes He carries me like a cross

The weight of my world on His back

Each step painful, tiring

And filled with every ounce

Of His love for me

When all I can do 

Is hold tightly to the shattered pieces

He takes each piece

No matter how big or small

And puts me back together

Creating something more beautiful

It’s not easy or quick

Sometimes it’s painful beyond words

But He never stops

He never gives up on my healing

He never gives up on me

His mercy is constant, unchanging, immovable

His forgiveness provides safety

He is my place of peace

He is my place of rest

He is my surety

He gives me courage

He will never leave me

Even if I turn away from Him

He is steadfast by my side

Even when I try to do it all myself

He waits patiently

His love never ending and unconditional