Saturday, May 24, 2025

What's Wrong?

I want to cry

But I couldn’t tell you why

I don’t even know it myself


I feel so overwhelmed

My fight or flight is activated

What’s wrong with me?


Logic knows I am alright

I’ve nothing to fear, I’m safe

Yet something is amiss


Just breathe, I tell myself

Breathe through the feelings

Breathe away the panic


Now the music is too loud?

I can hear everything

Going on around me, all at once


I feel like I’m suffocating

Should I step outside?

There’s too many people out there


What is this weight I feel?

I wish it would go away

I just want to be okay

Petrichor

Droplets falling from the sky

Striking the hot pavement

The smell filling my nose

Bringing a flood of memories

And a feeling of happy contentment

The Crow

It was back

The crow with the single

Pale blue eye

Perched on Mrs. Haversham’s fence

Staring intently

Where it came from

No one really knew

But every day it came

Perching, staring

Immovable


They tried to scare it off

Shoo it away

But nothing they did

Seemed to have any affect


Time passed and soon the crow

Melted into the background

No longer noticed

By the passersby

No longer a mystery

Or point of concern

Just another piece of scenery

To be ignored


The day Mrs. Haversham

Passed from this world to the next

Rumors floated around

About what really happened

Some said it was natural causes

Some said it was suicide

Some blamed her greedy nephew

Some noticed the crow

Never returned

Winter Walk

My boots are thick

But I can still feel

The crunch of frozen water

Snow packing beneath my feet


The cold bites at my nose

Tries to seep into my gloves

My breath a smokey array

Of frozen moisture


White specks begin to fall

Quietly from the sky

Sticking to the ground

Sticking to me


All around me

There is a kind of quiet

One you only find

In the dead of winter


With the silence

Comes a strange kind of peace

Anticipation

For the coming Spring

A Draw

Crossing swords

Matching each other

Blow for blow

“Are you fighting or flirting?”

Physically unable

To fight any more

Comrades intervene on both sides

The tussle ending in a draw


Courtly conversation

Turned into a debate

I am right

No, you are wrong

I am “difficult”?

Well, you’re impossible!

Walking away in a huff

Yet another draw


Fighting side by side

Battling enemies

Forging bonds

Greater than stubbornness

Seeing each other

In a different light

Realizing the truth

Of our feelings


Acknowledging our differences

Recognizing the difficulties

And future clashes to be had

A question asked

A mutual agreement “reluctantly” made

Knowing that when it matters

It will always end

In a draw


Running

Running for my life

Past following close behind

Don’t look, keep running

Oneirataxia

Slipping between

What’s real and what’s a dream

One moment you’re gone from me

The next you’re here

Smiling pleasantly


I know what’s real

Reality is that you’re gone

You’ve been gone so long

I sometimes forget

What you were like when you were here


But then it happens again

I come home and there you are

Making dinner or on the computer

As if nothing has happened

To you at all


I try to tell my friends

Convince my family

I keep slipping so easily

Between the two it’s getting hard

To remember what’s real


It feels to nice

Seeing you again

I just want to hug you

To talk to you

Tell you how I’ve been


But reality sets in once more

You’re not real, I tell you as much

Tell you, “This is just a dream”

To which you reply, “Yes, it is.

“But you can stay if you want.”


I jolt awake

Heart racing

Mind wondering

What could you have meant

When you said I could “stay”?


It’s been years since then

And some days when reality

Hits too heavy, too hard

I think about your offer

And wonder


Should I have taken you up on it?